used to be a Sewing Blog – Now KDrama

Rant: TV Bad Guys

Why is it that bad guys on television always store all their data on a secret partition on their hard drive or a password protected folder? Is it just so the quirky, IT girl can crack the password dramatically saving the day somehow? They need to make life more difficult for the good guys: even quirky IT girls.

If I were a TV bad guy, and I had top secret data, maybe it’s the photos of Ronald McDonald eating a whopper that I’m using for blackmail or whatever, I’m not leaving it on any computer, phone or tablet for quirky IT girls to hack when I’m not there. Flash drives and SD Cards, which are only accessed via a guest account – that gets automatically wiped every time it shuts down, are the way to go. Heck, with Macs & the size of flash drives now a days, I could have the BadGuy user acct be on the flash drive.  Flash drive stays on my person; probably in disguise.

The SD card backups (128 GB minimum) can be hidden anywhere.  I’d probably have 2. One would be behind a baseboard, behind the medicine cabinet, light fixture or otherwise well hidden – it’s my longterm TimeMachine backup that I only access every so often to update. and the other would be labeled 4 gb (easy enough to fake) and placed in a crappy old camera, with some landscape shots (taken with that camera) in the default directory.

Cameras have functions to wipe cards automatically. Not difficult to run – not that secure but who would pay attention? If I see TV cops at my house, the flash drive gets tossed into a handy sewer (or hidden to retrieve later if I can do it safely).  If I can’t it’s disguised enough not to be completely obvious what it is.

The camera with the short-term backup card is almost hidden in plain sight but not quite – and definitely not in the same room with the computer stuff. That’s where the good guys will be focusing.  In a storage area with random old junk. (I’ll keep diatomaceous earth handy if I need to add more dust to the box when I put it away – it’s just a green way to kill bugs so that’s not suspicious a fan blowing would help the dust placement.) If I can, I’ll swap out the memory card with a fake that looks identical. Else I hope it doesn’t get noticed.  Another possibility is formatting it multiple times using the camera’s function.  This would only work if I can access the storage room when I say I’m going to the bathroom.

And of course, my long term storage is hidden safely away where it would be darn impossible to find; and preferably somewhere that a normal warrant wouldn’t cover. I’m the TV bad guy; what do I care about the rule of law and complying with warrants.

Another option for keeping the LT backup away from the TV good guys. Multiple PO Boxes in a different name, and just forward it around the country; eventually, it returns and I update it and then start the cycle all over again for the price of a stamp. this is also a way to get rid of the USB drive temporarily.

And if I were a really smart TV bad guy, I’d make it so that the flash drive and SD cards would look for each other and wouldn’t operate properly without the other.

One way or another, I’d confound the quirky IT girl  & the TV good guys and she wouldn’t be able to save the day so I’d be freed and be able to change to blackmailing the Taco Bell Dog for eating Pizza hut. They’d have to catch me accessing my stuff (and of course, my wifi would be disabled when I use it) for the TV good guys to triumph.

It’s a good thing I’m not a TV bad guy, cause if I can come up with this in the shower who knows what I could come up with if this was my full time job. 😀

Rant over. 😀

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